So far 2012 has been an eye opening adventure of house cleaning on a cerebral tip.
I've seen all these fear driven History Channel, Science Channel, Discovery Channel, Younameit Channel about all the "holy shit watch your ass it's 2012," shows and I am pretty sure with the collective consciousness of everyone being completely scared shitless about prophecies, solar storms, global crisis'... we are going to manifest the chaos ourselves.
I realized last night on a long road trip at night in my 1998 Saturn SL complete with headliner flaking off in my face, engine rattling, and faulty brake lines that if a UFO landed 25 feet from me on the side of the I-44, I'd be inclined to stop and ask permission to board the craft. It can't be THAT bad people... it really can't. Experimentation and all, I'm kinda okay with that. I'd experiment on humanity too if I were me, which I am, so I say "go for it." For anyone out there who thinks I have an obsession with aliens... you are correct. It is far better and more entertaining of a thought than being obsessed with handbags, the Kardasians (or however the fuck you spell their name), Jersey Shore, or the political debates. I'm done with worrying about my credit score, I'm finished with being helpful to people who want a chunk of my soul's light for their own human experiments... like the experiment of "Let's see how much Melodee can handle... it'll be real fun to watch her get rocked by our malevolent intentions."
I'm not a pessimist though. I just like to laugh at the way it actually is sometimes.
Here's an example of that.
For Christmas I received the most worthless gift you can give someone... a JC Penny's gift card.
I don't need that. I need the money that is loaded on that card. I can't buy gas, but I can buy cheap cargo pants and ill fitting bras because I can go buy FIFTY dollars worth of that.. but I cannot, CANNOT, afford to drive to the JC Penny's. That brings me to my point... I had a bright idea. Have you ever have one of those, I did, and next time I'll just let it go. I have a friend who owns one of those "CASH FOR FUCKING GOLD," stores and they buy sterling silver, gold, and other nice shit. They always give me a fair price and I've made rent buy selling jewels that I no longer want. So my bright idea? I decided to go to Penny's and get 50 dollars worth of the clearance Sterling Silver jewelry to sell to my buddy at the Cash for Fucking Gold store. I failed. NO, JC Penny failed me. I took 50 dollars worth of the clearance "sterling silver" jewelry to my friend's store and he said, "It is worth $4." NONE of it was sterling silver. It was in boxes that said "sterling silver" but it was NOT sterling silver and it was worth $4.
I got into the car and wept. I wept. Did you guys hear that? I wept. I've heard the that the shortest line in the bible is, "Jesus wept." Now I understand why. He went to JC Penny's and got rolled. He had a bright idea to make some cash with his Jewish jewelry friend and they told him he was going to get $4. FOUR fucking dollars.
Well... I thought I could catch a break that day but NOPE. I kept the shit ass jewelry and I'm going to take it back to get $50 bucks back on my JC Penny's card so I can buy cheap cargo pants and ill fitting bras.
On my long road trip... the one I mentioned where I began pondering on how fast I'd run toward the alien spacecraft... I had a bug bite that itched like a son of a bitch on my back, and I got a simultaneous leg cramp in the leg that counts when you are driving.... I swerved and I accelerated... the swerve was because of the back itch, the cramp caused the SPEEDING TICKET that I received within minutes of this whole chaotic nervous system failure. I tried to tell the officer that I had a bug bite and a leg cramp but I realized that if I continued to give him a LEGIT excuse for my speeding, he'd probably give me a sobriety test for "talkin' too much in Oklahoma." I'm sorry for anyone who truly loves Oklahoma because I'm here to say, it blows. I'm sure that the natural beauty makes up for the people but if you are contemplating running toward an alien spacecraft to be experimented on, you probably shouldn't live in Oklahoma.
My other favorite thing is when people (in Oklahoma) break the boundary with you immediately when you stop to get food or gas. Every time I've ever stopped in Oklahoma to get gas, the attendant will immediately launch into a monologue about how something fucking awful happened to them recently. You begin wondering if God himself is giving you a "warning of similar ill fate" when this happens. Especially if you've been rolled at JC Penny, received a speeding ticket, and realized you'd run to a alien spacecraft instead of living another day with life's curve balls- that is when shit gets real and you think "Pam" at the "Kum n' Go" must be a messenger of God telling you to buy Fix a' Flat through her perilous story of being stranded for 13 hours with a convicted rapist in a semi but "if she only had that can of Fix a' Flat sooner she would've seen her daughter that one last time before they all got shot in the backseat of that cab in Michigan." Anyhow... I started thinking, "maybe I need to buy Fix a' Flat?" I didn't buy Fix a' Flat.... because they don't fucking sell that at JC Penny's.
That is all.
In space love,
Melodee Lenz
