I'm not blaming anyone in a political position because they are but a few. It is the rest of us retards that are making things suck balls.
I was waiting for inspiration to hit me this morning and it did. I turned on HLN (News channel). I probably don't need to say anything more but fuck it, I am.
The first thing I saw took place in Hollywood. A "crazy (and now dead) gunman" was walking on Hollywood boulevard shooting at people when this guy started video taping him out of his apartment window and shouted at him, "Hey Madman. Hey, shoot me, I want to die. God Loves you man. I love you man, ".... his motive was to "distract" the gunman. You know what? It fucking worked. The police show up and end up shooting this 26 year old drug addict who's girlfriend just dumped him... yeah, he's dead now. (FACT: the gunman didn't kill anyone, 5 people are injured though)
Anyhow... This guy who shot the video DID distract the gunman but it's obvious to me that EVERYONE'S MOTIVE EXCEPT THE GUNMAN, WAS COMPLETELY BULLSHIT. The gunman's motive- simple. He's clearly on drugs, he was out of his mind, terribly sad, and Los Angeles will make you want to get a gun and start poppin' people in the mouth..drugs...drugs...... anyhow.... where was I.... Oh I remember- everyone is full of shit. The guy who was "distracting the madman gunman who's mad" by video taping him and shouting that "he too was in the mood to kill himself but thought he wouldn't because he saw this guy doing what he was doing," etc.... He didn't call 911.
He didn't. I guess he assumed that the best thing to do was fire up the video camera and distract the rabid depressed junky until the cops show up to blow his brains out on the street after he had "settled down." Everyone wanted to get attention in that situation... everyone needed their junk rubbed. The cops got to wear their "big pants" today, the gunman got to die from his sadness, and the Royal Douche in the window with his iPad gets to be talked about on HLN/CNN/FOX, etc... Everyone got stroked.
Anyhow.... I realized something. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do anymore. You will either be blamed for being a danger to society/breaking the rules... or the same action could get you numerous interviews, a book deal, and a Presidential "Fuck You're Awesome" Award.
It matters not. So what is the defining moment of judgement? Why did this guy who video taped the now-dead junky w/a gun get ridiculed in the media when only a few months ago someone video taped a guy being mauled by a fucking bear and he had a cell phone, a gun, and was supposedly "distracting" the bear from ripping his friend's face off..... How much of a distraction are you with a video camera verses if you decided to put the camera down AND FUCKING SHOOT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING GUN YOU DICKHOLE!!! The media said the bear guy... video taping the bear mauling guy was "a great friend and courageous camper." FUCK YOU. GO AND FUCK YOURSELF.
Let me say this... If I had a fucking friend who decided to fucking video tape my face getting raped by a motherfucking grizzly bear instead of using the SHOT GUN that is in your other fucking hand..... that "friend" is not my friend any fuckin' more. Thanks "friend" for capturing the moment, the worst moment of my life...you know the one... when my face was ripped off by a fucking bear. Fuck you.
Anyhow... Here's another news title that is on... "Car plows into crowd, hitting six people, appears to be speeding." No! Speeding you say? I imagined he casually PLOWED into a crowd.
Get this... they interviewed 7 people about this story. The interviews were about as deep as this..."I saw the car and man I thought he' be goin' fast and then BOOM man... he done ran into the crowd." Of course they can't just have the ignorant fuck talking about it so they had to "back up his story" with the 32 year old software developer from Seattle who said, "Yes, I was on break and to my surprise I heard a loud crash and realized that people were hit by a car. He must've been speeding."
FUCKING BEAM ME UP. Nobody died in this event. Nobody. A guy was speeding, lost control of the car because the roads were slick, and he fucked up and stopped his car with people's faces. That sucks but nobody died and that is the REAL story there. Not that he was mysteriously "speeding." No fucking shit.
Last thing.... The Biggest breaking- fucking- what- the- fuck- holy -shit- News of the day is this.... (and this is on 4 Networks right now)... (drum roll needed)
"A recent scientific study has proven that drinking excessively leads to HIV."
Right.... just like spinning myself around in the front yard leads to me being in a mental institution. There is some shit in the middle of ACTION to END RESULT.
This above "scientific study" cost 5 million dollars and took 6 years to gather data that a fucking bucktoothed slobbering mountain man could figure the fuck out. They figure out that when they drink they "git nother kid." They "prolly figur dat strong drank git ya intah' big time truhhble."
So these "scientist" who spent millions of dollars on a study of "what happens or can happen in one particular situation when you drink a lot..." Those scientist were partyin' hard with that money and then crapped out some results to keep their funding going to future "no fucking shit sherlock" studies. Here's the thing that makes me fucking see red about all this...
More people than not are sitting in their living room or at work or whatever and they will see this "new study" and because of the way it's worded in the press, they will become incredibly fear driven and will at some point preach this information to someone who they resent for partyin' too much.... at which point the partyin' person will continue to party/drink because they will feel that everyone one around them is fucking retarded so they might as well keep drinking so they can get AIDS and then die. (I'm joking of course.. about the Aids part)
They will continue to drink excessively though because even someone who is shitfaced is going to know that HIV is NOT linked to drinking.... Your whore ass is but the booze is not the bad guy. YOU are the bad guy. If you a stupid enough to fuck everyone without protection, you'd do that with or without alcohol. They call their "study" a Cause & Effect research study. If I spill my Diet Coke on the floor today and don't clean it up fully then possibly in 1 year I might have a higher chance of ants. This is assuming a lot. This is assuming I never clean that spot again and routinely spill my diet coke without cleaning it up. So one could say that Diet Coke drinkers are linked to Slothfulness.
So... do you think I can get funded with my study?
"Stupidity is the leading cause of all things terrible in the motherfuckin' world."
In the time it took me to write this blog(about 20 minutes)... the guy in the news that video taped the gunman in the streets of Hollywood..... he's gone from being "irresponsible" to "he may or may not have saved lives... expert strategist weigh in." By 8pm tonight he'll be interviewed by someone via Skype.
I really hope the aliens land soon because I've already packed my bags and boy will I have some shit to talk about with them while we excessively drink, shoot guns into space, contract space AIDS, and video tape our friends getting mauled by Wookies.
I agree with everything in this article except if you are walking around threatening people with a gun you deserve to get shot even if you didn't kill anybody. Hell, even if you didn't hit anybody. You lose all the "not getting shot" points you've earned in that instance. The cops did their job and I would high-five them for killing that asshole. I don't care how sad he is.
ReplyDeleteThere is only one reason ever for not calling 911 in the event of a shooting in progress, and that is you have a gun yourself and are busy handling shit. This guy may have contributed to the cause, but you can dial 911 while you yell at a junkie. I know because I've done it.
And you're totally right. HIV is caused by drinking? That's like saying alcohol all by itself will wreck your car, evict you from your house, and abort your baby.
24 hour cable news means they have to fill all that time with something, so now you can get interviewed on national television because you witnessed a runaway shopping cart.
Everything is terrible and nothing makes sense.
Dude, this is your best blog yet. I really hope those fucking cops get suspended, you can't just roll up to some guy "No matter what he's doing" and shoot him in the head. and don't forget; when the cops shot that guy in the head he had already surrendered and asked the stupid hipster with video camera to CALL AN AMBULANCE. It's like running a red light and getting pulled over and then the cop rolls out of his car and shoots all your tires out, not only is it wrong it's against the law. But I really think we need to disband the world wide news network for a minute so people can start using their fucking brains again and fucking think for themselves and maybe JUST MAYBE come up with their own opinions.
ReplyDeleteYeah... I don't blame cops for shooting people who are shooting people... but the guy was completely calm at the time the cops shot him... At any rate the guy got what he wanted which was to die in a dramatic way. The doucher with the video camera is just the typical Tweeting asshole who is looking for some reason to wake up in the morning and feel like shit matters... or rather that HE matters. I'm sure he's texting his ass off right now about his "decision to distract the shooter by filming him instead of calling 911." Anyhow... yeah 24 hour news channels unfortunately fill the void with mostly retarded stuff and about 10% is relevant to the growth of our brains. Maybe less. Maybe that is the study that should be conducted...
ReplyDeleteBravo Mel! I hope you blog more often.
ReplyDeleteMy close-up of the guy with the gun would not have been through a camera lens... it would have been through a scope. S'all I'm sayin', s'all..
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